Greetings from Manila !

Have been quite many many months since I last put in an entry ...

Since the world came crashing down last time ... I have recovered and put that behind ...

Everything is now past and life has been more or less back to normal ...

I have started my stint in Manila ...

You may wonder why there are no pictures to show ... well ... there is really nothing much to put up ... haven been to many places in Manila (sorry my Manila friends, din mean to be rude). I only go to the Malls which I din take any pictures ...

I will make it a point to update this blog - though I know it is only myself reading this ...

Cheers!

Back in Singapore !

Yes ! I am back in Singapore ...

This is already the third day I am back ... the first 2 days just dash by like that ...

Did not get the meet up WL on Saturday ... not sure whether it is a bad thing or not ... but somehow ... felt we need sometime to prepare ourselves ...

Only met on Sunday ... both of us are probably not too sure ... the outcome is fuzzy ... not willing to let go ... cant face the possibility of another 9 months of uncertainty and loneliness ... I am not sure about WL, maybe he is right, maybe my love is stronger ... I can get by just knowing that there is someone there for me ... though when we meet, there will be some stranger-ness ... but I am fine ... I tell myself ... this is part and parcel of how things go ... as long as I am true to my own feelings ... the rest are just technicallities ...

Guess we will still meet again ... I fear the details ... the level of details we need to get to to make things work ... and sometimes the details are ugly ... the definition of casual dating, pre-commitment times, these are all fuzzy logic to me ... and I know details will drive WL away ... WL is not a detail person ... I am willing to work it out though .. always believe that my intellgence never failed me ...

But deep down inside ... I know the ultimate question carries the entire story ... is your heart still there ? Or is it slowly fading into the void ...

Actually as I write ... I am not even sure WL reads this ... maybe this blog is real private ... only a recording of my own feelings ...

Last Day in US !

The day has come - finally ... after months and months, weeks and weeks of countdown ... TODAY I am going back ...

Feelings are mixed ... with the recent happenings ... the excitement of going back has been clouded with the apprehension of facing WL.

On the other hand, now that I look back at the past 9 months, work wise ... I think I have just added another outstanding item to my resume ... to have "international" experience ... to be upgraded to an eviable position in Manila ... watched Devil Wears Prada last week and the phrase keeps coming back to me :"There are a million people out there dying to have your job !" So ... I guess I have to feel thankful and proud of my achievements ...

Is it true that success in career is at the expense of your personal life ? Are all the "though I am the CEO, I still have a happy personal life" stories real ? In modern times, successful career means flying around, means sacrificing time with loved ones ... are we "selling" our time to our companies in exchange for the so-called career ?

Recovery in progress ...

Right after the world came crashing down ... I say nabeh CB and pick myself up ...

I reckon that at this point in time, I can only offer what I can offer ...

Then good news came along, I am required to work damn late at least once or twice a week (up to say 10 PM - to "catch" people in telecon across the world) (that is good news to me) - the reward - I get Friday after lunch off ... which works well with me ... since I may plan to be back in SG for the weekends ...

WL is still thinking about how our relationship will work out (or ultimately, how it will not work out??!!). Think the only word to calm myself down is PATIENCE. Aries are particularly impatient people, a trait which I have tried very hard and for many years to suppress, with only very little success ...

This recent question has been ... can a person give all of themselves after they are brutually hurt in previous relationships ? And what happen if they cannot ? Does it mean they will always be incomplete ?

Like I say ... when I fall down ... no matter how bad (sometimes can be real bad - like your boss telling you he dont feel like confirming your position after the 6-months probation because he just doesnt like your style ?!!), I always try to say nabeh CB and pick myself up again ... the hurt may remain (in fact for the above, it casted a scar that is still deeply etched in my mind even now) ... despite me now earning like 2-3 times more than I did since the boss said that 6 years ago, and probably laughing at how I struggle then to stand up again ...

Same for love ... I also once loved so deeply that I thought of leaving everything behind and start a completely new life altogether in a foreign land .. but things just didnt work out ... I was hurt, sad, depressed ... Am I incomplete after that ? Maybe ... you tend to not want to put in 100% (or I really cannot?!), but I think that doesnt matter ... I learn how to cherish what I have now ... how to seggregate between what matters and what does not ... I will probably still put in 100% ...but maybe 100% of what I can afford to give ... and I think that should be enough to make the relationship work ..

After all these are said ... all I can do now is probably to wait ... maybe God is again teaching me the lesson of PATIENCE.

When the world come crashing down ...

Sometimes life's events come in the form of a domino ... crashing one after another ...

Just when you think you are reaching the mountain top to claim your trophy ... the trophy no longer exists ... you wonder ... do you still continue climbing ?

Times with WL comprises of 1 month of knowing, 1 month courtship, 2 months of being together and followed by horrandous 9 months of me in US ... and ahead of me is yet another 9 months of somewhere else ...

I look back ... indeed I am selfish ... I have no right to ask others to wait ... especially in the name of Love.
What I can only offer is my love, my persistence and my life ...

I thought the worse is over ... I thought times are getting better for us ... And I only think of what I thought ... I failed to think what WL thought ...

WL always say "if a person is yours, the person will be yours". I have to agree. I only wish to add that I will put in whatever effort needed to make it happen. Sounds contradicting ... yeah ... maybe ...

Too tired tonight ... thoughts are fragmented ...

World Cup ... 2006 !

One of the very few matches I bother to watch ...

France vs Italy ...

As I am typing this now ... the 2 teams are preparing to do penalty kicks ...

Only twice in the World Cup did they use penalty kicks to decide the World Cup Finals' winner !

I am honoured ... but what I saw in the past 120 mins did change my view of the sport ...

It reminds me that maybe Stephen Chow's Shaolin soccer is the way to go ...

The Captain of France, Zidane ... actually use his head to butt his opponent's chest ! Can you believe it ?
How can a player use head to hit opponent's chest when the referee is not watching ?

This gives me an idea ... if we can get enough Shaolin Iron Head expert into the team to cause perm damage to your biggest oppponent ... and do that early in the game ... then ... you win liao lor !! Haha !

South Park has an episode on this ... the South Park Team is on its way to play in the World's Basketball championship ... and in the last National Game ... the other team deliberately lose to the South Park team because they know how "vicious" the defending Champion (China Team) is at injuring (in South Park, it is killing... and of course Kenny died) them ...

Earlier I am more for the Italy team because :

1) The France team looks arrogant ...
2) There are more blacks (I assume these are imported players) in the France team, gives me a feeling that most of the players are not French by birth ... maybe recent imports .. not too sure .. but just an impression I get ...

Now I am more for the Italy team on moralistic grounds ...

Now ... Italy is leading in the penalty kicks ...

AND ITALY WON !!!!!! Yeah ... !!! The World is cheering !!!

For those aspiring to be in the 2010 World Cup ... Welcome to Shaolin Temple !!



How many times in your life that you want something so badly that you dont care what you doing is right or wrong ?

Independence Day - 2006!

Yesterday is America's 230th birthday ... WOW ! Sounds old compared to our 40-something years ... haha ...

We celebrated it the Singaporean way ... by shopping ... you see ... I am leaving US end of this month and the time has come for me to buy whatever I need to ship back and wave goodbye ..

The natural choice is of course the Premium Outlets @ Gilroy ... this is the whole village of discount stores ... think since I am here ... I come here averagely once a month ... haha ! I jokingly told me US colleague this morning that our contribution to the US economy is going to be measured in millions ! ...



Things I bought ... first we have to settle the capacity planning issue ... only with sufficient luggage space ... then we can buy more ... right ? ... So I bought not one :



Not two :


But THREE piece luggage set ...


The deal was just superb ... just $179 for all three pieces (USD) ... In case u cant see the brand ... its Samsonlite !

N "tricked" us into Kenneth Cole shop by asking us to meet there ... at the end ... K and me each bought a pair of shoes ... abt 50% off ... but still quite ex though ... USD 79 !


Looks like the "going home" chapter has begun ... quietly the clock is ticking and the countdown is now at 22 days!
And I start to busily prepare for my homecoming ... back to see family, friends, and loved ones ...

At the end of the rat race, do you know who you are going back home to ?